Holidays that are full of complexity are neither fun nor comfortable. You can get new experiences, learn exciting things about each other, and just relax and just enjoy being together.
But when one wants to add Other People on the trip, things can get awkward quickly. And when that same person ignores every boundary set by others, the situation can get ugly, fast.
That’s exactly what persuaded a Redditter to ask, “When I saw my husband’s mother standing with her luggage to get out of the airport?”
A little back story
The original poster, which we will call Sophia, does not match her mother-in-law.
Sophia says that her MIL, whom we will call Carol, always treated her strangely. It started with a strange comparison between them and escalated into a complete imitation, as Carol purpleed her hair after Sophia. To make matters worse, Carol even blamed Sophia for her hair dye, claiming that Sophia was trying to make fun of her. So already, Carol sounds like a gem.
Sophia said she saved a two-week vacation with her husband. As soon as Carol found out, she asked him to come with her. When he was not told, Carol “made a fit.” Ummm … oh!
It went on like this for a while. “He called, texted, sent people to talk to me, even threatened to call the police and make some complaints about our stay. [couldn’t] Come on, “wrote Sophia.
(Innumerable) red flags
This is the first in a long line of red flags for me. Complete disregard for Sophia’s feelings is worrying and her boundaries are already being crossed left and right. Carol is willing to go to extremes (The police are calling ?!) Is the least annoying.
It was also clear from the beginning that the husband wanted to bring his mother with him. She begins to demand that her mother come, eventually Giving Sophia an ultimatum. The various manipulations that begin with.
He said he would not go on tour if his mother could not come. When Sophia “called her bluff,” she saluted and said she would let it go. However, his only “responsibility” for the trip was to book a flight. And, that’s what he did.
Best Laid Plan
Sophia and her husband arrive at the airport to begin their journey. However, Sophia mentions that her husband was acting weird. He said he seemed to be “looking for someone” at the airport.
Her concerns are verified when she sees that Carol is ready to go on vacation with them, with luggage and a ticket to board the plane. The ticket, however, was booked by the husband.
Sophia turns her heels and walks out of the airport, but her husband stays right behind her, yells at her to come back and tells her she’s overreacting. She tries to stop it as her mother was “already there” so she should go with it and not ruin the trip.
Even after Sophia goes home, her husband continues to “beat” her and tells her that he is being “too hard” on her mother. He even called Sophia’s family to tell them he had “ruined” the trip. Even His The family tells her she should “suck it up” and try to enjoy the holiday.
What’s next for this couple?
There are probably a few moments where Sophia can be reflected in finding out where and when things started to go wrong in the relationship. But he must have done the right thing by simply denying the “so” with the situation at the airport.
The manipulation and gaslight that is going on here is frightening, and it has probably been going on for a while. This can only be the latest situation. Fortunately Sophia stood up for herself and refused to go on vacation where she would probably be voted out and ignored for most of the trip.
Many of the commenters have made similar suggestions for Sophia. Divorce. The top comment said, “I don’t want to call the divorce card but that divorce. You said your boundaries, you didn’t say. He transcends it. Your husband told you he wouldn’t tell her, he lied. He didn’t say anything and somehow tried to get you to hold him in a corner and get annoyed [when] You refuse to be part of his little trap ?? And then to scold you ?? He is not a good man. He has to go. ”
This feeling is echoed repeatedly and for good reason. Protected relationships are where people both listen and feel connected. They should be honest with each other and feel comfortable expressing their feelings.
Mostly, unless all these important things seem to be missing from this relationship. Oh, no one else’s money should be spent without their consent. All of these things are true for any relationship.
If you constantly try to listen, try to calm the other person down or if you are afraid that your partner is lying and irritating you, it may be time to break the bond. After all, there are other “travel partners” that may be more suitable for you. We hope Sophia finds a new one soon (minus indomitable mother-in-law),