Uh-oh, J.Lo is in it again

I think Jennifer Lopez and her instincts always need to be the most. But it’s been a minute since he gave us the whole red-carpet window, and I thought it probably meant he was tired of seeing how common it was and moved to new pastures. No. Not only is she still grazing in the field, she’s also added a messy ink-blot version of the very popular current trend that I’ve always thought of as Pothholder Boobs (when it looks like someone wearing oven mittens is walking behind a person and biting their chest).

The thing is, when J.Lo went like this before — and he, a lot A lot Bar – He was usually able to respond with a response, “Oops, this is again, but at least the dress has an undoubtedly beautiful function.” This is not that.

It’s crazy for Tom Ford, but am I crazy, or is there something particularly beautiful about this? It’s not glamorous. It’s not interesting. And it doesn’t even seem to be made with care. Jennifer Lopez can do better than a mixture of scrap combined with cheap netting and I’m not just talking about her recent films. ZING. Oh, Jennifer, I tease. Instead I’m glad Ben Affleck didn’t joke there. I almost did. But while I’m still embarrassed secondhand that you’re engaged to someone with that dumb-ass back tattoo, I’m still rooting for you to tie the knot for two crazy kids and be happily married until you’re 90 years old. You will probably wear it at your anniversary party and still probably have those legs, and then, yes, I will place a respectful consent of my dry head towards you.

[Photos: Andrew H. Walker/Shutterstock]