It’s easy to think positive, it’s easy to talk. Life is not perfect, neither are we. Things can often go wrong. Negative experience is an inevitable part of existence-it’s just part of the deal.
A large percentage of popular mental health counseling centers have the opposite: positivity. We need to practice self-empathy, talk a lot about ourselves and avoid negative statements.
Although it sounds good on paper, these Trite coupes are usually short in real life. The hollow positive discussion only emphasizes how negative we want to be, and the cycle continues.
And according to Amanda Armstrong, a TikToker and certified mental health instructor, there is a reason why all that positivity doesn’t help you.
Take baby’s steps, not giant lips
For positive thinking one has to ignore reality. If you do not find what you are looking for then just ask. In some situations there is a slight positivity for sharing, which makes public optimism look like a lie.
Furthermore, positivity can quickly dismiss, turning into “toxic positivity”. Toxic positivity is usually well-intentioned, but it does not come from a sympathetic place. It focuses on removing or avoiding negativity at all costs, which, unfortunately, is impossible.
“Going from a negative to a positive thought is a big leap,” Armstrong explained. “There’s a lot of evidence in your brain that your negative thinking is more true. Instead, try to make a neutral observation statement.
Don’t think positive, think neutral
This neutral observation statement has several advantages. To begin with, neutrality is closer to negativity than positivity. Since the change of mindset is small, it may feel more manageable. When your brain is in battle or flight mode, easy is always best.
In addition, a neutral statement adds objectivity to a situation. There is no way around positive and negative self-talk that is instinctively emotional. Neutrality is, of course, neutral. It’s easy to see big pictures from this remote perspective.
So, what does a neutral observation statement sound like?
Keep it simple and straightforward
“If your brain says, ‘I hate my body,’ then instead of thinking, ‘I have a body,'” says Armstrong. “If your brain thinks, ‘I’m never going to get over anxiety,’ think, ‘This is a moment of high anxiety.’
“Oh, this is the worst day ever!” He suggested changing it. “I had a hard conversation with my boss.” If you can take a moment to catch that thought, take a deep breath or control yourself by confusing yourself for a moment and then turn it into a neutral observation statement, you can stop that downward spiral. ”
In a culture that condemns negativity and at the same time exacerbates it, it seems easy for you to “fail” in your mental health. And indeed, a life without any negativity will probably fade unbearably.
But when that negativity becomes too much, don’t think positive; Neutral folks.